Getting to know your roommate can feel intimidating. Making new friends in a new environment, too, can feel daunting.

When Mouna Toure ’27 arrived on campus for move-in, she had only a quick moment to say hello to her first-year roommate, Emma Donvito ’28, before Donvito headed to marching band rehearsal. It was their first in-person interaction after connecting online, and Toure was nervous.

But when Donvito returned, they spent time talking and sharing stories.

“It was pretty obvious to me we were going to be great roommates because we spent the whole night giggling,” she says.

Donvito also knew they would become friends based on their early online interactions and their similar personalities and hobbies.

“When we met in person, it was like I’d known [Mouna] for months already!” she says.

Elizabeth Swart ’29 recalls that she and her roommate, Valeria Lamadrid ’29, also didn’t meet until move-in. It felt overwhelming as they met while saying goodbye to family members.

It was awkward at first, going to different events together and not knowing anyone else, she says.

“But when we were standing in food truck lines at Citrus in the City, we had a lot of time to talk to each other, and I instantly realized just how much we had in common,” she says.

Cameron Froehlich ’29 described a similar experience meeting and befriending his first-year roommate, Westley Topps ’29.

“I was nervous about starting college, and I wanted to have a good relationship with my roommate,” he says. “I knew we were going to become friends when we started talking about music taste and found out we had similar hobbies.”

Toure says she wants new students to know it’s OK to feel anxious about being in a new place. Everyone is experiencing the same feelings, she says. What’s important is to be yourself.

“Keep calm, leave your room and remember we all bleed Orange!” she says.

As new students settle in on campus, Toure, Donvito, Swart and Froehlich shared their advice with Syracuse University Today for making friends during the early weeks on campus.

What’s one small habit, routine or boundary that you and your roommate built early on that strengthened your friendship?

Toure: If someone needed to call their family, the other would step out until the conversation was over. First year was a stressful time for me being 18 hours away from family. Whenever I needed to have a serious conversation with them, Emma would utilize the study room on our floor. I would do the same thing when she needed to talk with her family.

Donvito: One habit we set was staying organized. Creating a space that was welcoming for us and for others. We respected bedtime routines and communicated.

Swart: Communication is key. With both of us being heavily introverted it was difficult to initially connect and make conversation. I didn’t even have Val’s phone number until maybe three weeks into the semester, but once we had that line of communication it made things much easier to communicate what we were doing.

Froehlich: We respected each other’s space and established what our boundaries were as far as guests, sharing items and sleeping habits on the first night. This ensured we understood what the other person needed to feel safe and comfortable in our space and allowed us to grow our friendship.

What’s your advice for handling tougher moments of awkwardness or friction together?

Toure: As simple as it sounds, don’t let it fester. It is better to talk about the thing that is bothering you right away instead of circling back to it. You live with your roommate for around 10 months. You see every high and every low, and you have to navigate a shared space daily.

Donvito: Communication is key. It’s OK not to be best friends with your roommate, but you still need to create a positive environment to share. Utilize lounges in your dorm, go to the library to study, find a place that you can be by yourself if you need a break.

Swart: If you communicate with one another, it will be easier to combat any issues and even minimize them from the start.

Froehlich: Discuss mutual rules and boundaries early on and make a plan for how to handle conflict. If conflict comes up, follow your plan, whether that be talking immediately or giving the other person space. Work toward a mutually beneficial conclusion and apologize where necessary.

What’s a piece of advice you’d give to incoming students about roommate relationships/making friends that you wish someone had told you before your first year?

Toure: Leave your dorm room! It can be hard to put yourself out there. Attending events and club/org fairs and studying in random buildings on campus were some of the easiest ways I made friends. The most memorable way I made friends was by sitting in the study lounge on my floor.

Donvito: It’s OK to be uncomfortable during your first weeks on campus. But talk to people! Create study groups in class. Go on adventures with your roommate. Try new things. You will never know who you’ll meet!

Swart: Try new things and push yourself outside of your comfort zone. During your first weeks, talk to everyone and go to events. If you don’t meet your best friends in the first week, that is totally OK! Your people are still waiting for you somewhere on campus. Give yourself grace and don’t stress too much or take anything too seriously. Introduce yourself to the other people in your dorm hall and on your floor, that is a good place to find community and friends. If you are coming into your first year knowing nobody, it is all going to be OK. Chances are everyone else around you will be in a similar boat.

Froehlich: Everyone is just as nervous as you, go to events and talk to people. It’s OK if you don’t stay friends, but it’s a great way to make friends in the beginning and find people who might remain friends with you for the rest of the year and beyond. It can be scary, but college is a lot more fun with friends.