Whether you’re a first-year student or a senior, living with roommates usually comes with a unique set of challenges. It’s incredibly rare to find someone with the exact same living style as you, so you will often have to make compromises so everyone can live together comfortably. Good relationships between roommates can lead to amazing friendships, so don’t hesitate to read our tips for cultivating comfy cohabitation!
Set Boundaries Early
A great way to create a respectful living space is to be clear about your boundaries right away. Be proactive in your communication to avoid surprises later on. Also, telling your roommate(s) what you are and aren’t okay with gives them the opportunity to do the same, leading to a pathway of open and honest communication.
Deal With Confrontation Respectfully
People feel varying levels of comfort when it comes to confrontation, but sometimes it’s a necessary part of creating a positive living environment. Your roommate(s) may be unaware that they did something to upset you, or they may have crossed a boundary you did not tell them about initially. Either way, you should go into confrontation with both assertiveness and understanding. Most situations are probably a case of misunderstanding, so it’s better to confront and move on than to let negative feelings fester.
Take Advantage of Campus Resources
If you’re an underclassman, resident advisors (RAs) and resident directors (RDs) are a great resource if you’re having issues with your roommate(s). They can help mediate conflict and provide you with a living agreement, which you and your roommate(s) have to sign at the beginning of the year. If you’re an upperclassman, or living somewhere without RAs and RDs, the Barnes Center at The Arch offers Roommate Mediation, which aims to help with both boundary negotiation and conflict navigation.
Learning how to live together peacefully is a necessary skill that will help you throughout the rest of your adult life. We hope these tips are helpful for you and your roommates as you navigate living together this semester. Welcome back to campus!
Written By Madison Manczko ’24, S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications